It’s been dry all the time since I arrived in Scotland.
But inside me, it’s a rainy day.
I try to avoid doing this, but I can’t help it much. I know that the second week before I have to leave always goes by so fast. That is why I start to get sad.
I know I will be missing Trev and I will be sad to go back home and a whole lot of work is waiting for me. But because I want to hide under my blankets and be sad, the prospect of work is not very encouraging but rather overwhelming.
I try to enjoy the moment and not think too much about Sunday. I try to get things done.
But inside somewhere, I’m sad. It doesn’t help much that I can’t get out of the house when Trev’s not around because I can’t get back in on my own.
And then sometimes, something happens, something snaps, and then there’s just a lot of water, and it never stops.
I know exactly that the life situation we are in now is entirely the product of our decisions. But in such moments I just want to break down and blame the world for being so complicated, and I wonder how everything ended up being so horribly hard.